I am just as in need of Him

I see her approach and I start to get nervous.
She, in her dirty pajamas, asks me for money.

I ask what her name is and how old she is, gazing into her dark, lonely eyes.
She answers quickly with a brief smile, but gets back to her reason for approaching me: money.

I walk in the door and climb the stairs of the air conditioned restaurant.
She stands outside looking after me with her outstretched hand.

I find a seat and sit down on the outdoor balcony looking over the busy, noisy road below.
She sits in a parked tuk-tuk on the street, gazing up at me and putting her hand up to her mouth motioning for food.

I look at the menu and order my lunch.
She gazes up at me, the way she has learned makes the foreigners give her money.

I wonder the last time she ate. I feel a rush of guilt and questions…

How can I sit here and eat this meal while she runs up to every white person on the street begging for a few cents? 

What does she think of me…sitting here looking down at her?

Did I do the right thing by not giving her money?

If Jesus were in this situation, how would he have responded?

Does she think she deserves this life she is living? Does she believe she did something wrong in a former life that affected her 'karma' to cause her to be 'reborn' as a lower class citizen?

How do I reach out to her in a way that breaks through the money-driven mindset she has been raised to have?

How do I introduce her to the One who can give her an eternally full tummy?

"But now for a brief moment favor has been shown by the LORD our God, to leave us a remnant and to give us a secure hold within his holy place, that our God may brighten our eyes and grant us a little reviving in our slavery. For we are slaves. Yet our God has not forsaken us in our slavery, but has extended to us his steadfast love before the kings of Persia, to grant us some reviving to set up the house of our God, to repair its ruins, and to give us protection in Judea and Jerusalem." (Ezra 9:6-9 ESV)

Today I was caught up in many burdens…the burden of a society that has rejected this beautiful child because of her social status; the burden of the foreigners who throw a few dollars into her hand so that they feel good about themselves the rest of the day; and, heaviest of all, my own burden of feeling guilt for the things I have and the things she doesn't, of not knowing how to love my neighbor well, of not feeding the hungry, of not welcoming the stranger into my house, of turning my back on a child of God.

But Ezra shares great news! The Lord has not forgotten us. Our Father has favored us and has secured a place for us in His holy place. Abba has left us a remnant and has a plan for ending our slavery. God has extended His love to us and has sent us to rebuild His temple on earth.

Thank you Lord for reminding me that these are not my burdens to bear because your burden is light. You have rescued me from slavery. You will rescue the people of Cambodia from their slavery, and have already started to do so!

I am so undeserving of your love, the child is undeserving of your love…we all are undeserving. Humble me, Lord. Give me eyes to see the people around me as you see them. Give me a heart to love them as you love them. Put the words you would say into my mouth. Give me discernment to know when it is my time to be involved and when to just leave it up to you.

You have freed us from a slavery of unnecessary guilt and burden, but you have not freed us from the joyful burden of doing your work here on earth. Empower us to do your work, not shy away from it.

Thank you for showing up in the midst of your sinful.