Week 2 in Cambodia was different than I expected Week 2 in Cambodia to be.
It started out with a little chill in my shoulders before I headed to bed. Then it grew into full blown chills and aches and absolutely no energy and a rash that itched…a lot.
Besides being physically unhealthy, I was frustrated. Why was I the one getting the insect bites leading to what seemed like dengue symptoms? Why after only 2 weeks was I trapped in my room lying on my bed without an ounce of energy–not able to meet new people or practice what little Khmer I had already learned?
But as usual God was up to something though it all.
I opened my daily devotional Jesus Calling (page 263) and read these words:
"Accept each day exactly as it comes to you. I mean not only the circumstances of your day but also the condition of your body. The demands on you seem far greater than your strength. Days like that present a choice between two alternatives–giving up or relying on Me. Even if you wrongly choose the first alternative…you can turn to Me at any point, and I will help you crawl out of the mire of discouragement. I will infuse My strength into you moment by moment."
God knew I could handle Cambodia (at least the Cambodia I had imagined and prepared myself for).
I could move into a house,
I could meet new and interesting people around me,
I could learn the language,
I could have fun,
I could do hard work.
He knew if that was all that Cambodia was about for me, I could handle it…He is God after all.
But what about His plan for Cambodia?
Could I sit?
Stop moving?
Look into His eyes?
See what He wanted me to see in Cambodia?
Well of course He knew I could do that too…but I needed (and will continue to need) His help in getting there.
So He had to take me out of the game early on (just like a little kid taken out of their little league game by the coach during the first game). He had to give me a pep talk. Force me to look into His eyes. Force me to rest in His arms. Force me to cry out to Him in the middle of the night and tell Him how uncomfortable and unfair and frustrating my situation seemed to be. And He didn't change it all right away, but He worked through it with me.
He used dreams and emotions and my wonderful team to show me love and grace and hope.
I see it as a 'practice' for the rest of my time here. Many things will leave me feeling uncomfortable. There will be many times when I will see injustice or feel frustrated. But if I rely on God in those times, the outcome will be beautiful.
Week 2 in Cambodia was different than I expected Week 2 in Cambodia to be…. It started out with God wanting to get my attention on HIM and off of ME. Then it grew into a full blown NEED to RELY wholeheartedly on the KING of the UNIVERSE!
(PS–Praise Jesus that I am completely 100% better as I write this!)
Thankful I could be with you through out.
And I’m also thankful you were there, Heather.
Kelsey – thanks for sharing. The adjustment can be tough. That’s why I love that you all are already such a great support to one another.
Continuing to pray for you and super glad that you are allowing God to lead. Sometimes we have to be helplessly on our backs to allow God to move even more. Love you!!
I am so grateful to the rest of the team for being their for Kelsey. Thank you for being her family in Christ!!
Ooops…I meant there no their….my bad!!!
God is absolutely amazing–even in your disappointing sickness and helplessness! He’s pouring so much into you Kelsey!To God be the glory for the healing he provides.